Kicks on Route 66 Part II

6/22/11 9:00pm

I'm watching the Mexico Honduras game at a sports bar called Coaches on Univision. I'm sitting in the back room wearing my USA jersey. I am fairly certain of a few things. Thing the first: I am the only one here who isn't fluent in Spanish. Thing the second: they are wondering if I am lost. Thing the third: Spanish language television is DRAMATIC. There's always a Mexican guy that looks a little to good, a woman that looks good too and a lot of fast gibberish. At the end of the commercial either he makes out with her or she looks very worried about something that is clearly bad. Maybe its the old man that's dressed like a general. No one knows. Except for everyone else here because they understood it.
        Damn, waitress just caught me looking at her. Act natural Madison. Earlier I asked her what was good on the menu. She kept talking about the "barbeque". I'm not going to order barbeque at a sports bar. Let alone a sports bar that puts onions on their pulled port sandwiches. I ended up getting the "Ranchero Fries". There is a law in New Mexico that says that you must have one "Ranchero" item on the menu at all times. You must also serve green chile peppers. That last one might be true. You can get them at McDonald's.
        So the USA won today. That's cool. We're in the final. And nobody better post on here about how I said "we" when I'm just a fan. I had to watch Johnathan Bornstein play. I've paid my dues. Anyways, Freddy Adu played? Remember the guy from the Sprite commercial with Pele. I think he might have played soccer at one time. The weird part was he did well and the sun stopped in the sky. I know, I know. It sounds impossible but it happened. Adu set up a goal.
        Now there is a 40 year old "cowboy" butchering "She Thinks My Tractors Sexy". But to be fair it's like ground beef through a blender. You'll know what you did tore it apart but really, the damage was done before you got there.
        Now a guy is singing a song that I believe is called "Now Show Them Titties". This place is like an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Am I at Patty's? One Thing is for sure though. I am not going to clean this table. That's Charlie work.
        NOW THE GUY THAT HELPED ME AT WALMART IS SINGING RAMSTEIN! That's it. This is the weirdest place on the planet. It's like the Bermuda Triangle of bars. No that doesn't do it justice. I love this place/am very scared.
        Honduras has just taken Mexico to extra time. This could get messy pretty soon. Damn, Mexico just scored. Well, there goes that dream. USA/Mexico final everyone. Guess we still have to find a way to stop Chicharito. And they scored again. Man...